Title:
Spiral
Author: trixie
Disclaimer: Jason owns them. Besides, like we'd
ever be so lucky as to have this happen on the show
Rating: NC 17
Author's Notes: I saw the promo pics for the new
season and thought of this fic. Why does Liz suddenly
look so sexy? And why does Is have that new hair? My
answer...
Summary: Liz and Isabel take off...
Dedication: to the few Lizizards out there
Cate: L/I with many overtones for other couples
Muzak: "Wild Horses" - the Rolling
Stones, "Fly Away from Here" - Aerosmith
The night after Tess left was when Isabel and I took off.
It wasn't really a conscious decision. I was planning a
safe and sweet summer with Max. I already had visions of
sugary kisses and chocolate promises and I kept asking
myself why I felt so sick... but there were no answers.
I was sitting on the balcony when she ascended the
ladder. I thought it was Max for a split second and
breathed in sharply- wondering if he was going to slide
his hands over my skin and taste the coppery insides of
my thighs--- but it was Isabel. Her hair hung like a
golden river down her back and hid part of her face as
she whispered, "I'm going to scream."
I stared at her for a moment and then said, "What do
you want me to do, Isabel?"
Her head snapped up and she shrugged. Cold and haughty
Isabel. I always hated her more than I liked her. But in
that moment, I felt such empathy that I shuddered.
"That's get out of here," she murmured
decidedly.
"What do you mean? Like, go get some ice cream or
something?"
She smirked, I remember that. "No. I mean out of
town. We'll take the Jetta. Maria'll be spending all
summer in bed with Michael. She doesn't need it."
"What about Mrs. DeLuca?" I protested, not even
sure why I was discussing this.
"She's away at that buying show for the next few
weeks, remember?" Isabel answered calmly, and her
voice was brittle. "Get your things. Don't bring
much. Leave a note."
"What do I tell Max?" I whispered, and her eyes
were tiny pinpricks of cold light as she shook her head.
"We're not telling my brother anything. Just get
your stuff together, Liz."
~~~
The truth was, I wanted to leave Roswell just as much as
she did. Every time I breathed, I coughed. The dust had
rolled in from the desert, and it was too much to even
move. Every where I looked, I saw Tess and no one would
talk about her. Max held me as the world exploded and she
split the sky, and he talked to me about futures I used
to envision when he and I were golden and innocent. But
he never mentioned blonde curls and those tiny hands and
I felt as if I'd throw up from all the blank stares on
the car ride home.
So as Isabel and I drove out of town, and I watched it
recede into the blur of distance, I was strangely
relieved. Her hands held the steering wheel, and she
didn't look back. Her face was set, and when I remember-
I think that was when I began to love her, but I didn't
know it yet.
~~~
We drove for days. We'd sleep in the back with the seats
pushed down- with our flannel sleeping bags and our eyes
drawn irresistibly to the stars. I thought I was a
masochist those nights- when all I could do was see Tess
in those burning balls of gas. Imagining her laughing at
me and my fragile little hands- too small to hold onto
Max- too small to rip her eyes out for killing my sweet
Alex- too small to do much of anything.
But I had done something, I would remind myself. I had
run away. That was enough.
But I still hated myself. I didn't want to be Liz Parker
anymore. Or I didn't want to be *Max's* Liz Parker.
Isabel didn't treat me like someone else's Liz. She
didn't talk much at first. I couldn't tell what she was
feeling- her emotions were too much for me to see. I told
myself I didn't want to know what went on her head- it
seemed too complicated, too messy for me to deal with. I
like things to be neat- everyone knows that.
She was never neat.
She was blurry and dizzy.
We went to McDonalds and bought hamburgers that came in
bags stained with orange grease. We ate them outside,
sitting on the grass, our legs curled up underneath us.
Ketchup dripped down her chin and she laughed when I
giggled in disgust. The fries burned my fingers and I
felt the cool fizz of the cola swirl down my throat. She
stared at me as I ate and I didn't mind. I imagined that
she liked the way my teeth tore at the meat, the way the
barbecue sauce wet my lips, the way my throat worked as I
swallowed the drink and crunched the ice.
I imagined a lot of things in my life. But right then- I
thought maybe I wasn't dreaming. Maybe Isabel did think
those things when she watched me. I wasn't sure- but I
liked her eyes on my face and skin. It made me feel
hungry. For what, I didn't know.
~~~
One night we stopped at a bar alongside the highway. It
was large, packed, and cheap and sold beer and
cigarettes. We bought an ample supply of both and I
closed my mouth around the nicotine and alcohol as if it
was going to fill me. I was always hungry now.
Music pumped from the speakers and it smelled like sweat.
Isabel pulled me with her strong hands onto the floor and
we danced. My hair stuck to the back of my neck as we
whirled and clung, our skin sticking together in the
smoldering heat. I remember the way her eyes held me, and
the way her hips felt against mine. All the men in the
bar watched her, craved her- but she only danced with me.
I drank and smoked so much that when we got back to the
car, I puked all over the side of the road and Isabel
held my hair back, giggling in the soft way she did. She
rubbed my forehead afterward, listening to my incoherent
moans and complaints as she stared stoically into the
night sky. Did she see Tess too? Did she remember blonde
curls and tiny hands?
Or was I the only one?
~~~
It all went into a spiral the night she decided to cut
her hair. We were at some dive outside of the Grand
Canyon and the night air was sticky. She kept pushing the
heavy weight of her hair out of her face until she
finally shrieked, "I can't take this anymore! I'm
cutting it off."
We got scissors and even some hair dye. She was tired of
it all, she said to me. The blonde, the shininess, the
looks guys gave her. "I hate it," she
whispered, and handed me the silver instrument.
I was hesitant at first. I had always been envious of
Isabel Evans' hair, and slicing it off seemed like
sacrilege. But she wanted me to do it, and so I would. I
would have done anything for her, already.
My hands delved into the mass of strands as I snipped and
sheared, and I could see the silent tears waiting in her
eyes. She wanted this, she wanted this shedding of the
skin- but I knew, somehow- she pitied the girl she once
was.
When I was done, we dyed it. My fingers were stained
dark, and it looked as if I'd been bathing in thick red
blood. She touched my hands, their palms slick with the
liquid, and she raised my thumb to her lips.
"Kiss me, Liz," she demanded, and I leaned
forward, my breath warm on her mouth as I brushed those
lips with my tongue. Her fingers held onto my hair as she
lowered me to the bed, and it's cushiony feel pillowed my
back.
I blushed when she took off my shirt, her hands skimming
my skin as she breathed against my breasts, my nipples
throbbing painfully as they were exposed to the heat of
her tongue. I don't know why I blushed. I had known the
moment was coming. It was inevitable- like death or
Tess... or the stars. She kissed my heart, her tears
dripping down my breastbone as she helped me shimmy out
of my shorts and underwear.
"Isabel..." I whispered, and she brought her
bittersweet mouth back to mine.
"Shush, Lizzie..." she murmured, her teeth
biting me. "I'm going to fuck you."
I didn't blush this time. I felt the wetness spill onto
my thighs and opened my legs wide. "Please," I
said.
She smiled, and slid down my body until she reached my
knees, gripping them with her nails, laughing quietly as
I jerked. Her mouth was so hot. I never knew a mouth
could be so hot. Her fingers inside me were too good. And
when I drank from her later I knew why I'd been so hungry
for all that time.
The next morning my flesh was stained dark in places from
the dripping dye and sheaf's of blonde hair were stuck to
our skin. I woke up to her watching me sleep. Her fingers
touched my lips and I kissed them with a tenderness I
never knew I possessed.
"Do you want to go home, Liz?" she inquired.
"No," I answered, turning over and drawing her
close. Her flesh was warm, golden. She was beautiful-
even with the almost boyish crop of hair. Her palms
pressed into my hips hard.
"Are we ever going home, Liz?" she asked.
I thought for a moment. I loved her. I was still sore
from her fingers and teeth.
"No," I responded, and kissed her.
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