Title:
To Die A Virgin
Author: Bennie
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own nothing Roswell.
Character Focus: General UC slash all around, with
some het overtones.
Spoilers: Oh, I wish
sigh
In
fact, pretend the last 6 or so episodes of S2 never
happened.
Author's Note: This little piece of utter fluff is
the end result of an exercise to exorcise writer's block,
nothing more. Don't even bother looking for a plot, or
you know, relevance. But it was awfully fun to write, tee
hee
oh, and thanks, Debbie. "Cyclin'
Studs", indeed.
"I,"
Liz pronounced grimly, "am going to die a
virgin."
And
with that, she threw herself onto her bed and sighed with
the heartfelt melodrama of a true gothic heroine.
They
couldn't help it. They tried. Maria bit her lip. Isabel
schooled her Ice Princess features into a mask of
disdain. Tess let herself grin but couldn't meet anyone's
eyes.
But
it happened. Tess did meet Maria's eyes. And she
giggled. It was a tiny giggle, but it set off Maria, and
then Isabel snorted because she was trying not to laugh,
and then Maria and Tess laughed because Isabel - Isabel
Evans - had snorted, and then the dam broke and all
three just gave in to the moment.
Liz
sat up, frowning as she surveyed her three hysterical
friends.
"Guys,"
she said, wounded.
They
were laughing too hard to acknowledge her.
"Guys",
she said louder, allowing a little of her irritation to
show.
Nothing.
Just laughing. And then Isabel snorted again, and Liz
found her lips twitching reflexively.
"Ah
hell," she sighed, and soon all four of them had
succumbed to the sheer hilarity of the moment.
* * *
"So,"
Maria said presently, "why do you think you're going
to die a virgin?"
Liz
made sure no one was laughing before she spoke.
"Something
Kyle said."
Tess
snickered. "Oh, god, if he's going through that
lamp-trimming phase again
"
Maria
snickered too; her step-brother had gotten so weird.
Between the religion and the alien lovin', he was just
too spaced out to take seriously sometimes. "Well,
from the noises I've heard come from his room, I
think I can safely say he's working his way through any
issues he may have about sex with enthusiasm."
Isabel
looked mildly nauseated.
"'Issues'?"
Tess inquired. "Does that mean he's got the new Cyclin'
Studs and Busty Biker Babes?"
"Hey,"
Maria protested indignantly. "Those magazines are an
affront to womenkind everywhere, and -"
"Maria,"
Tess interrupted what was becoming a bit of a rant; she
knew the signs. "Don't stress it, okay? Those women
have nothing on you. Nothing." And with that
she leaned over to give Maria a wink and a light kiss.
Pouting
but mollified, Maria acquiesced. "Well, as long as
we're clear on that."
Liz
and Isabel exchanged glances and rolled their eyes.
"Like it wasn't bad enough, having to hear about my
brother that way, now I have to watch this," Isabel
moaned, but she was smiling.
Liz
smiled too. "I think Max and Kyle are good for each
other," she defended them. "And if they enjoy
..." suddenly her eyes misted over and she sniffed.
"If they are having sex, I for one am
happy
for them. Really." And with every word, she
came closer and closer to crying openly.
Isabel
scooted over; Maria and Tess were still distracted.
"Oh,
come on, it's not so bad. I mean, look at all the
problems that come along with having sex. You're safer if
you don't rush into things."
Liz
looked at her for a moment. "What do you mean,
exactly? Are we just talking pregnancy and diseases here,
because I wouldn't do anything unprepared."
Isabel
giggled reflexively. "Like I ever doubted that. Let
me guess," she proposed, looking at Liz
speculatively. "You've been on the Pill for, what,
three months now?"
"Four."
"And
you probably have at least two kinds of condoms hidden in
your room somewhere."
Wordlessly,
Liz pulled a pillow over to her, opened the zippered case
it was in, and shook it. Condoms of every size, make,
colour, flavour and texture fell out. All had expiry
dates that were at least a year away.
The
display caught Tess and Maria's attention, and they
looked on with bemused interest.
"Lubrication?"
Liz
opened the drawer in her bedside table and pulled out
several innocuous looking tubes. After examining them,
she dropped one on the bed between the two girls.
Isabel
was really getting into this.
"Um
spermicidal jelly?"
Liz
chose another tube.
Tess
interrupted then, eyes twinkling. "Blindfold?"
Maria
slapped her lightly on one shoulder. "Stop that!
Like Liz would ever -"
She
forgot what she was saying when Liz grabbed the tangle of
hair ties she kept in a box by her bed and pulled out
two, one of silk and one of -
"Is
that leather?" Isabel asked before she could stop
herself. Liz nodded.
"The
leather bustier and bodysuit are in my closet."
Noticing their looks, she explained, "I liked how
they matched, and well, they were on sale. It was really
very practical."
Maria
looked at Liz a little oddly, remembering something Liz
had once told her about her one stay in jail.
"H-handcuffs?"
she managed to ask, although she stuttered a bit. Beside
her, Tess perked up.
Liz
pulled her jewelry box - the one with the ballerina on
top - onto her lap to remove the false bottom. With a
sigh, she pulled out a pair of realistic-looking but
lightweight cuffs and handed them to Maria. And with
another, she pulled out something else.
"Um,
Liz -" Isabel tried to say, before choking on her
own words.
Liz
shrugged. "Threesome cuffs," she explained.
The
three other girls just stared at her.
"Ménage
a trois?" Isabel gulped.
Liz
shook her head. "Actually, that's a misnomer. A lot
of people think a threesome is a ménage a trois, but
that's really when three people have a living or
lifestyle arrangement in which at least one of the
partners is involved sexually with both the others."
"Oh,"
Isabel said, a little weakly, staring at Liz as if she'd
never seen her before.
"Wait!"
Maria looked Liz significantly. "Aren't you
forgetting something?"
Liz
looked at Maria blankly.
"Olfactory
stimulation?" Maria said pointedly, thinking of her
own set of sniffing oils at home.
Liz's
mouth twitched slightly as she turned to pull some
bottles out of the drawer she'd taken the tubes out of
earlier.
Tess
looked at the labels as the four girls passed them
around. "Massage oil, scented oil, flavoured oil,
heating oil
"
"Heating?"
Isabel interrupted.
Getting
a nod of permission from Liz, Tess opened the cap and
poured a tiny bit onto her fingertips, which she then
used to rub Isabel's arm. The light friction immediately
created a delicious warmth on Isabel's skin.
The
tall girl's eyes grew very, very round, and she turned to
Liz.
"What
I mean, who
when
why do you
have all this stuff?"
Liz
looked at her steadily for a moment, but then burst into
tears.
Isabel
automatically put her arms around the smaller girl in
consternation. She hadn't realized Liz was so upset, or
so
so frustrated, if the way her nipples responded
to even this innocent gesture was any indication. Isabel
thought for a moment, and then turned to Maria and Tess.
"You
guys, do you mind if I talk to Liz alone for a
minute?"
They
nodded, obviously concerned. "Actually," Tess
said, "it's pretty late. Why don't we call it a
night?"
Maria
nodded, torn between wanting to be there for Liz and
joining Tess on the pullout couch in the living room. Mr.
and Mrs. Parker were away for the weekend, and it wasn't
like the two of them would have to pretend, or keep the
volume down
blinking a little at the way her
thoughts got away from her, Maria pulled herself together
and followed Tess out of the room, pausing only to
squeeze Liz's shoulder. "We're here if you need
anything, okay chica?"
Head
still buried against Isabel's shoulder, Liz managed to
smile weakly and nod. "Th-thanks, Maria," she
sniffed, and waited until Maria had closed the door
behind her and Tess before turning to Isabel.
"What
is it?"
Isabel
grinned. "Two things. First of all, here's a clue.
You don't want to die a virgin? Newsflash: Michael's been
trying to get you to notice him for weeks."
Liz
perked up. "Really?" She frowned. "Then
why is he always picking fights and stuff? I swear, it's
like -"
Isabel
just looked at her.
"Oh,"
Liz said, blushing. "Um, what was the other
thing?"
"I
am very curious about several of these
items."
Liz
blushed a little deeper. It was charming. "Um, yeah.
Uh, would - would you like a, er, hands-on demonstration?
You know, since you're already here and it's all
out?"
Isabel
just grinned, and reached over to undo the top button of
Liz's demure nightshirt.
"Start
with the leather."
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