Title:
Wait and Bleed
Author: Miri
Email: MiriStar@excite.com
Rating: R
Warning: Slash. Heavy angst. Morbid.
Disclaimer: No, I own nothing. Go away.
Note: Thanks to Brandi for being my amazing beta, and
muse. Camryn, who read this early draft and encouraged
me.
Feedback: A must:) I crave it. Criticism is good too.
If there's one thing
I'll never forget, it's the way she changed my life. I
never felt that good, until I met her. I never felt truly
cared about, until I met her.
I never felt real pain,
until I met her.
The pain doesn't hurt.
It never did. I suspect I'll be in pain forever,
actually, but I don't think I'll ever hurt. She made me
miserable, oh yes, very miserable. It's the most
incredible misery.
I think what drew me to
her was her fear. She was afraid of me at first, and I
kind of liked it. I'd never thought of myself as a
sadist, but maybe I was wrong. It turns out that I'm a
sadist by no means, but her fear still made me happy. And
sad.
Before she died, she
told me a secret.
She told me that she
wasn't the only one afraid of me.
That really didn't come
as a surprise, because people are afraid of what's
different. And I'm definitely different, but she's not
different from me. We're the same, I told her. Other
people are different from us, but you shouldn't fear me.
You are like me.
She disagreed.
She told me I was
nothing like her. She said I'd never be like her. I was a
complete stranger to her. You might be one if us, she
told me, but you'll never be like us.
It saddened me to hear
that, at first. All I'd ever wanted was to fit in. But
when I realized what she was talking about, I felt
better.
I have a sense of
loyalty, to the past, that she'll never have.
But what set me apart
most from the others was my sense of hope. I thought
everything would be okay. Maybe it was foolish of me, but
I used to lay awake at night thinking about what my life
would be like in twenty years. I imagined the same things
every girl wants. That was my problem. I'm not every
girl. I'm not even human.
Neither is she.
I still remember the
first time we kissed, and what became of that kiss.
I initiated that first
kiss. I don't even know if she wanted it first. And I
will never know if she's have become what she'd had to be
with me if I hadn't pushed her. And let there be no
illusions that I didn't. I wanted her, and I would have
stopped at nothing to have her.
Or the time I came
behind her and whispered warnings into her ear. I could
hear her heartbeat then. She was so close to me. I nearly
kissed her right there. But in the end, I waited. I
waited until I thought she was ready.
We were sitting in her
room, commiserating I suppose; because neither of us had
sought each other out to gossip and giggle. In this one
split second, I could have sworn I'd felt tension from
her. Sexual tension. I walked towards her, and placed my
lips on hers. She was surprised at first, but I think she
realized that she couldn't avoid this. Destiny, I told
her, strikes us in the most unlikely ways.
Destiny is bullshit, she
told me, between sharp gasps.
No, Love, that's where
we were all wrong. I understand that now. She never did,
even in the end, but I do. I know that destiny is real. I
know that you don't throw yourself at someone or
something just because you're told you are supposed to.
If everything happens for a reason, the knowledge of that
will affect your judgment. Or so you think. You do what
you believe you want to do. And in the end, it was
planned. Everything happens for a reason.
Shouldn't that make it
easier for me to understand why I am where I am now?
It should, but it
doesn't.
I'm in pain.
I'm scared and I'm
lonely, and I want her here with me more than anything
I've ever wanted in my whole life. But I can't have that.
I want to feel her next to me, her naked skin next to
mine. But I can't. Her curvaceous body was breathtaking;
it never ceased to amaze me. Her breasts would brush mine
ever so slightly, and I'd practically lose it right
there. That was all it took. Her name fell on my lips
like an orgasm. She emanated pure sex, and not just the
physically stimulating kind. I could come without even
touching her.
And then the last day
came for us. Neither of us knew it was the end.
Everything was normal until she left for a moment.
I'll be back in an hour,
she told me.
I'll be back in an hour.
I'll be back in an hour. I'll be back in an hour.
She didn't come back.
They came for her.
"They" were a
group of alien hunters that sought us out to exterminate
us. They knew everything about us, who we were, where we
lived. The secret unit of the FBI had never really gone
away, it seemed. However, these people had left the
government. They had other things in mind.
They caught her as she
was leaving. They blindfolded her and told her she was
going to die. She cried, and they laughed. They cut her
clothes off, and stuck their fingers inside of her,
telling her she would finally feel the real thing. She
screamed, and they laughed louder.
They raped her, several
times. Told her she was a stupid alien bitch. A fucking
alien dyke. Kill those damn aliens!
They videotaped the
whole thing, and then they sent it to me.
It even showed how they
killed her. How they took the hunting knife and cut her
slowly.
I listened while she
screamed. Those screams have haunted me every night and
day since. I hear them when I'm awake, and I dream of
them when I'm asleep. The type of scream that will haunt
me for the rest of my life, however long that will be.
It was long and
tortured, and painful.
I cried.
When they finally killed
her, and I watched it, my eyes locked on the grotesque
vision, I stopped breathing. I didn't realize I'd been
holding my breath until I passed out.
I've watched them kill
us all since that day. Max and Michael, they were
murdered too.
I dont know how Ive
managed to survive, but I used to pray they'd come for
me.
They never did. I
survived all the known aliens on Earth. I can't go back
home, and I'll never live in peace.
And I'll never have her
with me again.
Isabel, I love you. I'm
waiting to see you again...
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